I learned shit the hard way so you don’t have to and today I want to talk about ironing your shirt.

“What the fuck are you talking about Paddy – ironing your shirt? ”

Look – This is the kind of shit they didn’t teach you in school Remember, you just lobbed your school jumper over that crumpled piece of shit, BO smelling shirt?

I can tell you that I’ve interviewed young people for jobs wearing creased shirts and it just looks awful. I’ve seen

The reality is – maybe nobody has ever shown you how to iron a shirt. Maybe there isn’t even an ironing board where you live. Not all of us were born with a silver spoon up our arses.

Well, let’s get started and get you looking sharp and feeling good about yourself and hopefully…interview ready.

 

So, you’re on the dole and it suck balls. I know – I’ve been on the dole queue in places like Kilbarrack and Aungier Street. It’s not fun.

You want to feel good about yourself, so you need a little bit of purpose and you want a job.
Any job interviews you have to go to – you need to wear a shirt and preferably a tie.

 

Buy a shirt

If you haven’t got one, I’d suggest taking a few bob out of your precious €152.80 and buy some shirts. You don’t need flash right now. That day will come. Presentable is what we’re looking for and cheap.  Aim for a max of 20 quid for a shirt. If you are starting out and not sure what to get – just start with a plain white shirt.

  • Don’t fuck around with trending collar styles. They come and go fast, and you’ll look like a knob. Trust me.
  • Stick with standard pointed collar.
  • Don’t get double cuff shirts – they are the ones for cuff links. Worry about that after your first pay packet.

Tip: Ask staff – don’t be shy – be nice and polite, even if they are assholes.

If you don’t know what size collar you are ask the staff would they have a measuring tape. You need to get your neck measured spot on – you don’t want to be choking and it’ll look stupid if its too loose.

This will look good with open collar or great if you have to wear a tie.

stoicpaddyshirt

 

Fitting and size

There are relatively standard shapes/styles  of shirts in various stores like Marks & Spenders, Burton, Next

Tailored, fitted, regular and slim are the kind of common terms.

If you’re fat or normal, you’re looking for Regular shirt – that’ll give you the space you need to breathe around the mid-section – also – lay of the carbs but we can get into that on another day.

If you’re one of those super skinny lads aim for the slim fit.

If you’re in good nick, with a decent chest and shoulder to waist ratio go for the fitted/tailored style.

 

Learn how to iron

First of all – you need an iron and an ironing board. I’m not going to make assumptions here so if you don’t have them. You can grab an iron for €8.99 in Argos and a board for €14.99

If that is too much – you must make friends with buy and sell websites like Adverts.ie and Donedeal.ie or whatever similar websites are in your region.

You will grab a board for 3-5 euro – search by your county and try and get somewhere that you can get to by walking/bus to eliminate additional costs.

 

Watch a couple of youtube videos like this dude below

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l7DqqQXwX0w

 

WARNINGS

DON’T BURN the goddamned shirt – you’ve just spent precious resources on it – start with the lowest heat setting on the iron and work up slowly until you are happy it is at the right heat –

Test the iron temperature on the inside bottom of the back of the shirt – that way if you do burn it, nobody will see it when its tucked in.

I’ve burned too many shirts over the years and it’ll ruin your fucking day if you let it.

Also – and I mean this – wash the shirt if you’ve worn it. If you don’t wash the shirt, you will get build-up of aerosols/roll on deodorants on the under arm and this kills the life of a shirt prematurely.

You will feel good in yourself if you can start off with this.

Summary

This might seem like a tiny little step but trust me, if you learn this it will help your confidence and you will feel good about building up another little skill.

You will look smart, clean and presentable. Put a smile on your face.

 

Remember: When nobody else does, Stoic Paddy gives a shit.

 

This is part of the sort your shit out career series – Dole to Director

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