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Month: January 2019

PCP Car Finance – Don’t do it!

In the old days, a deal to buy a car was between you and a car dealer. The car dealer buys cars in bulk at a discount. She then sells you an individual car at a higher price. There was one transaction – you got a car and the dealer made a profit.
But now you no longer deal with just the car dealers – they have brought in Finance Houses, Credit Institutions and their own set ups like Ford Capital Europe and Volkswagen Bank.
All these geniuses want to make a profit too – from YOU. So they came up with PCP.

What is PCP?

Generally the plan works in 3 stages, by you stumping up a deposit, paying installments for a number of years and then actually buying the vehicle at the end with a lump sum.

Or using the remaining “equity” and “rolling it” into the upgrade to a new car. (I’m laughing out loud as I type this bit)

What does SP think PCP is?

Stoic Paddy thinks PCP is a marketing ploy to take advantage of people by keeping them in long term debt arrangements by preying on an inability to resist a shiny new car and poor math skills.

PCP or Personal Contract Plan is a mathematical method of sucking as much money from you at every single stage of the deal. The term PCP is pure marketing – Personal Contract Plan. It make it sounds like it is tailored specifically for  you  and that you are in control – which is fucking hilarious.

I would hazard a guess that the person who made up the term had a laugh at the similarity to the other PCP i.e. the drug Phencyclidine a.k.a. Angel Dust which causes mind altering effects and out of control behaviour. Sounds appropriate.

What is GMFV?

GMFV is a term which means Get Mega-Money From Vehicle. The marketing term used is Guaranteed Minimum Future Value. The concept is that when you return a vehicle in say, three years, you and the car company have a set price regardless of the current market. Either way it is a term made up by some wizards who wish to extract as much cash from you as humanly possible for a depreciating asset.

GMFV values are calculated by people smarter than you using computing software and algorithms you don’t understand.  Who do you think is going to win?


Top 5 Reasons not to do PCP

  1. You will be the person who will SUFFER the cost of depreciation on a vehicle you are only renting!
  2. You have to stump up a considerable deposit just to LEASE a vehicle
  3. You will PAY for all maintenance and repairs to a car that you are leasing
  4. You ALLOW the company to dictate what maintenance and repairs must be carried out (most likely by their mechanics at their overpriced rates)
  5. You will only own the car after you STUMP up a significant last installment – By which stage you have been bled dry, the car is a number of years old and devalued

Top 3 reasons to do PCP

  1. You are really bad at math
  2. You are immature and have no ability to delay gratification
  3. You like giving free money to car companies and banks

What would Stoic Paddy Do?

Buying a new car is a luxury. People have forgotten that. It is not an emergency. Luxury spending of this nature is probably best undertaken when you are financially secure with zero debt.

Stoic Paddy would never willingly enter into a PCP deal. Stoic Paddy would give car finance companies the finger by saving up and buying a vehicle with cash.

Ultimately, entering into a PCP is financially reckless.

How to Spend in a Financial Emergency

This blog post relates to Start position of the Stoic Paddy Game.

When you are at the start you are trying to achieve financial independence for accommodation and income.

This can be a tough place to be if you also have mountains of debts, credit cards and loans from friends and family.

You need to treat this as a Financial Emergency – and take a serious approach to combating and resolving the emergency.

The good news is that financial emergencies are temporary by nature. We want to get you out of this situation as quick and painlessly as possible.

Stoic Paddy would prioritise all expenditure with the following for you or your family unit.

  1. Food
  2. Accommodation
  3. Light/heat
  4. Ability to earn (transport, motor, internet)


1. Food

At a minimum you are sitting down once a week and doing out a list of 21 meals per person. 7 x breakfasts, lunches and dinners. If you have ever done meal planning for fitness and body composition like bulking/cutting – this will be easy for you. If not – learn.

I don’t know if you’re vegan, carnivore, vegetarian, paleo, Atkins (yeah I’m old) – and I’m not about to judge here (or care for that matter). Food is way to individual for me to start lecturing you. The point is you can eat healthy according to your diet for cheap.

Grains are cheap, vegetables are cheap, grass fed and free range meats are cheap – Real food is cheap. Processed shite is expensive.

  • Do a list for the week
  • Buy in low cost supermarkets only
  • Use reusable containers for ALL external meals like work and school lunches.
  • Cook in batches
  • Don’t leave the house without a (non-plastic) bottle of water and some small snack
  • Stay out of all small convenience stores, newspapers agents and garage forecourts

If you are really hardcore then you can try some Intermittent Fasting with me to get sexy abdominal muscles and save more money.


2. Accommodation

If you are paying some contribution to rent or some government scheme, it is vital to keep this up to date. To paraphrase an old Irish economist – You are living at the mercy of others.

Let’s keep a roof over our heads. Homelessness is real.


3. Light and Heat

Lets keep ourselves and loved one warm with home cooked meals

4. Ability to earn

Once you have your basic food and shelter costs covered we must maintain our focus on completing this level. We have to ensure that we can apply for a job, get to a job and keep a job.

This means bus cards, bicycles, basic internet connections for CVs etc.

5. Nothing Else!

Any remaining cash must be kept for next levels emergency fund.

Here is a list of things Paddy wouldn’t do during Level 1 – (Remember this is TEMPORARY before you start rolling your eyes)

  • Pay for non-essential subscriptions (Spotify, Sky Sports, Netflix etc.)
  • Buy gifts for anyone outside of immediate blood family unit (One of the hardest)
  • Take a vacations/holiday (You’re broke – get a grip)
  • Eat in restaurants/ fast foods / Order Takeaway Foods (All food should be bought in one go and home cooked prepared)
  • Leisure activities (cinema/bowling/dance lessons etc)
  • Non-essential grooming (fake tans, nails, hair, barbers)
  • Upgrade non-essential items like furniture, interior (You’re broke – get a grip)
  • Private Health Insurance
  • Gym memberships/fitness classes (Try running the beach, do pull ups in the park, dance/aerobics to online video)
  • COFFEE (Seriously. You’re buying expensive takeaway coffees as a “treat” no wonder you’re skint)
  • Cocaine, alcohol, cigarettes, angel dust, meth, heroin, Ibuprofen, Fisherman’s Friends, St Johns Wort and chocolate. (You know what you’re up to)


Stoic Paddy Emergency Spending Example

Below is a sample of what I have done. It’s probably not for you food wise but if you are in a genuine financial emergency give it a try.

If you are on the dole and you’ve been in a McDonald’s, a Chinese takeaway and a Starbucks this week look away now…

Dole €198 per week (one person – customise to your circumstance)

  • Food €30
  • Accommodation €100
  • Internet/Phone €10
  • Transport €10 – Cycle for free and some bus fares for job interviews
  • €48 Emergency Fund Savings

Breakfasts x 7 Porridge Oats

14 Meals for Dinner/Lunches – Make 4 batches of any 4 meals (16 meals with 2 spares). Cook on Sundays, store in containers, freeze and thaw when needed

  • Free range chicken/rice/broccoli/peas
  • Beef/potato/carrot
  • Lamb/couscous/spinach
  • Soups/Stews
  • Salads

€5 – Keep a fiver for a cheat meal once a week to keep you sane.

Note: As with any example given by Paddy – take it as a guide and build your own.

In conclusion, this is not supposed to be fun. It is a tough frugal method of combating a temporary Financial Emergency until you get steady employment.

But there is satisfaction to be had in taking on the personal responsibility of undertaking the challenge once you have a clear purpose and vision to move to the next level. It will make it all worthwhile.

Intermittent Fasting…for your Pocket?

Intermittent Fasting is fasting for long periods of a day and then taking in all your food within a specified window.

“Fuck You Paddy” is indeed a reasonable position on the surface but hear me out.

I’ve been doing intermittent fasting for about 18 months now and I’ve had better fat loss results than I’ve ever had in my life – whilst retaining muscle.

I have been following a straightforward 16:8 IF which means fasting for 16 hours and consuming the daily calories in the allocated 8 hour window. A typical day would involve eating lunch at 12 noon and then not eating after 8pm in the evening.  Yes….that does mean not eating breakfast. You would be surprised at how quickly you can adapt to this regime.

You can up-regulate and down-regulate your metabolism. This is something they should have taught you in school instead of the fucking food pyramid.


  • Cash savings! – If you are eliminating a possible four hours worth of calories out of your daily diet you are saving the cost of an average 30 meals a month
  • Fat loss – Especially if you trying to see those abdominal muscles lower to your crotch.
  • Food tastes better – You wait 16 hours and see how damned good that home made Tupperware salad tastes!
  • Clear head – Mental acuity during your day. Combine IF with a reduction in processed carb and you can even stay awake in the afternoon!
  • Physiological Control – Imagine being able to control hunger instead of hunger controlling you…

Yes. These are subjective benefits to my experience. I am always reluctant to talk about diet because it is a very individual for each person. So this works for me. It may not work for you. But is it worth trying? Can you do it for a month? You can do anything for a month.

Go listen to some smart people like Dr Rhonda Patrick explain the goodies better than I can.




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